By: LaCheston Moore
While at work tonight, I decided
to throw on my headphones and listen to some music while prepping for the
work-night. Due to me having to which
phones, all of my normal music was not on my new device. So I start all the songs in this particular
phone on random and started to do my regular.
Now the first song to come on was K. Michelle, “Can’t Raise A Man.” If I
were to be honest about this song and my playlist, I’d normally just hit the
next button because I don’t even know why I purchased it three years ago
anyway. But for some strange reason, I
decided to listen to it. And in doing
so, there’s one small thing that could be major in someone’s life that I want
to share with you all, especially the ladies.
“Don’t Make it Hard for the Next
Woman!”
Yes, your exactly correct, this
one is about to get interesting. In this
ballot, K. Michelle goes on to say, “You can’t raise a man, he’s already grown,
what you gonna do? You wonder why he
acts like a boy; It’s cause he wasn’t raise right before you; Girl, you ain’t
never gonna change nobody; If he don’t wanna, you can’t make nobody; Cause you
can’t raise a man, no, no” (“K. Michelle – Can’t Raise A Man).
Now the part that stood out to me,
caught my attention and made me think was when she said, “It’s cause he wasn’t
raised right before you” (“K. Michelle – Can’t Raise A Man). Now I may be wrong on this, but I’m gone go
at it anyway. You know how we preachers
are. Everything that we hear or see, we
believe for it to have a message in it. I honestly believe that K. Michelle isn’t only
talking about how this guy was raised inside of his household (his growing
habitat), but she is also talking about his growth from his previous relationship. With over 50 percent of the world being women, there was a poll taking by MSN that stated, "26 percent of woman are more-so attracted to guys that are just drop dead handsome ("The Top 20 Traits Women Want In A Man"). However, this also suggest that there is 24 percent of women in the world that don't necessarily need you to be Morris Chestnut, Michael Ealy or even Idris Elba. They just want you to be a decent, faithful, thoughtful, responsible, and God-Fearing guy. Needless to say, “ladies what are you
accepting?”
I think that we as men have a tendency
to get set in our ways extremely faster than women. We tend to gripe about things that we are not
gone to compromise about and we look at the situation as “it is simply what it
is.” One reason this is, regardless of
how you want to look at it. There are approximately
3.2 Million people in the United States (Google). Of those 3.2 Million 50.8 percent are females
and the remanding 49.2 percent are males.
So you can be on the Beyonce, “I can have another you in a minute” all
you want. But the reality of it is, men
will not give into or show appreciation to a woman that has no concreteness or
stature about herself. Beyonce may have
said it best, but men actually have more options in potential mates than woman
(not to say that just because there’s a higher percentage of women, that men
are guaranteed a better quality of women).
What does all this mean? “A woman that stands for something will not
fall for anything.” Do not get it
twisted, this is what men seek when it comes to that woman you want to put the
ring on. But for every single woman that
lacks what has just been mentioned, you honestly make it harder for the next
woman. One woman accepting being
mistreated, not nurtured and cared for, not appreciated sets off a ripple
effect for all women that come after her.
Due to him consequently not learning anything, now the next woman he
meets or encounters is supposed to be acceptable of him treating and doing her
any kind of way; for this is now what he is used to. He wasn’t taught anything about the things
that women desire, admire and love in previous relationships like: passion, confidence, faithfulness,
dependability, generosity, and kindness, exemplify the ideal dad, or simply
making his woman laugh and feel comfortable (Illuminati). He has now become this person that only wants
to “knock you up or knock you out;” All because what he thinks is acceptable and
this has now become his norm. But this
message on today is to give you your voice back! Just tell them him in your Kevin Hart voice, “you
gone learn today!!” Instead of settling
and being a victim to nonsense, know that as a child of God that you are a
blessing! As a woman you are a
blessing! And your potential standing-up,
for how a woman should be treated, could create a possible opportunity for
another woman to be blessed through your failures. Instead of her enduring continued unwanted
pains in an unnecessary burden. So
ladies, “Don’t Make it Hard for the Next Woman!!” 
But one last thing I want to
point out to you ladies is that even though the man is the head, you are still
a “tone-setter!” Notice that I did not
say “trendsetter,” that term has
already went to the head of way to many women that can’t even maintain what
truly matters in life, for trying to keep up with a lifestyle they honestly can’t
maintain. For all my old-folk reading
this blog, my mom use to always tell me, “Son…you can’t live a champagne life
making Kool-Aide money (holler if you hear me)!”
So ladies, if you will indulge
the term of being a “tone-setter” for just a moment, please allow me to
elaborate, as this will transition us back to our overall topic of, “Ladies,
Don’t Make it Hard for the Next Woman!” To all the women that are “tone-setters”
and regardless of the situation you have decreed not to stand for mediocre
because you have a standard about who you are willing to accept in your life;
this part of the message is for you. God
never said that it would be easy! He
never said that all your good-doing, all your fasting’s, and all your praying
wouldn’t land you some potential bombs.
But in order for you to stay true to yourself, the stature that you have
put in place, this means not accepting defeat.
Take it as a grain of salt, learn from it. But most of all make sure that it’s a learning
process for everyone involved. You have
to know that you not accepting defeat or the altering of your character is
where your blessings is gone to come from.
Stay grounded!! God did promise
us one thing in the end, that we’d be victorious. So keep your head up, standards up, and
remember to help out the person that’s potentially coming behind you.
In closing, I’d just like to
point out one more thing. When you’ve
accepted Christ into your life, you accepted new standards for everything. Jesus loved and still loves everyone more
than what we could even imagine. So
ladies if you’re considering your next man.
Consider these couple of things for me: (1) Jesus gave us a perfect
example of what to strive to be.
Therefore, if he isn’t trying to be Christ-like, he’s not for you
anyway; (2) Christ gave His life so that we may live, so that we may enjoy the
treasures of life while here on earth.
If he’s not willing to go over and beyond for you, then he’s not for you
anyway (however, keep in mind that you need to be worth going over and beyond
for); (3) the bible tells us that we will live like Kings and Queens in Mansions
in heaven. If you don’t feel like you
the Queen of your mansion (no matter if it’s a apartment, studio, or
starter-home) or he isn’t trying to put you in a house that you-all can call
home, he’s not for you anyway; and (4) when Christ died on the cross. He gave the ultimate sacrifice so that you
can be all that you are right now. He
loved us through His living and even more through His death. Ladies, if that brother doesn’t have no decent
insurance to help you out when he passes away to make sure your okay and good on some
of the promises that that joker made you while he was living, he’s not the one
for you (Just a little humor there at the end).
References:
Delistraty, Cody. "9 Ways Most People Ruin Their Own Relationships". Thought Catalog. N.p., 2013. Web. 26 July 2016.
Illuminati, Chris. "The 10 Most Important Qualities Women Look For In A Guy". AskMen. N.p., 2016. Web. 26 July 2016.
"K. Michelle – Can't Raise A Man". Genius. N.p., 2016. Web. 26 July 2016.
"The Top 20 Traits Women Want In A Man". MSN. N.p., 2015. Web. 26 July 2016.
