"Ladies...Don't Make It Hard For The Next Woman!!"

By: LaCheston Moore

While at work tonight, I decided to throw on my headphones and listen to some music while prepping for the work-night.  Due to me having to which phones, all of my normal music was not on my new device.  So I start all the songs in this particular phone on random and started to do my regular.  Now the first song to come on was K. Michelle, “Can’t Raise A Man.”  If I were to be honest about this song and my playlist, I’d normally just hit the next button because I don’t even know why I purchased it three years ago anyway.  But for some strange reason, I decided to listen to it.  And in doing so, there’s one small thing that could be major in someone’s life that I want to share with you all, especially the ladies.  “Don’t Make it Hard for the Next Woman!”

Yes, your exactly correct, this one is about to get interesting.  In this ballot, K. Michelle goes on to say, “You can’t raise a man, he’s already grown, what you gonna do?  You wonder why he acts like a boy; It’s cause he wasn’t raise right before you; Girl, you ain’t never gonna change nobody; If he don’t wanna, you can’t make nobody; Cause you can’t raise a man, no, no” (“K. Michelle – Can’t Raise A Man).

Now the part that stood out to me, caught my attention and made me think was when she said, “It’s cause he wasn’t raised right before you” (“K. Michelle – Can’t Raise A Man).  Now I may be wrong on this, but I’m gone go at it anyway.  You know how we preachers are.  Everything that we hear or see, we believe for it to have a message in it.   I honestly believe that K. Michelle isn’t only talking about how this guy was raised inside of his household (his growing habitat), but she is also talking about his growth from his previous relationship.  With over 50 percent of the world being women, there was a poll taking by MSN that stated, "26 percent of woman are more-so attracted to guys that are just drop dead handsome ("The Top 20 Traits Women Want In A Man").  However, this also suggest that there is 24 percent of women in the world that don't necessarily need you to be Morris Chestnut, Michael Ealy or even Idris Elba.  They just want you to be a decent, faithful, thoughtful, responsible, and God-Fearing guy.  Needless to say, “ladies what are you accepting?”

 

I think that we as men have a tendency to get set in our ways extremely faster than women.  We tend to gripe about things that we are not gone to compromise about and we look at the situation as “it is simply what it is.”  One reason this is, regardless of how you want to look at it.  There are approximately 3.2 Million people in the United States (Google).  Of those 3.2 Million 50.8 percent are females and the remanding 49.2 percent are males.  So you can be on the Beyonce, “I can have another you in a minute” all you want.  But the reality of it is, men will not give into or show appreciation to a woman that has no concreteness or stature about herself.  Beyonce may have said it best, but men actually have more options in potential mates than woman (not to say that just because there’s a higher percentage of women, that men are guaranteed a better quality of women).

What does all this mean?  “A woman that stands for something will not fall for anything.”  Do not get it twisted, this is what men seek when it comes to that woman you want to put the ring on.  But for every single woman that lacks what has just been mentioned, you honestly make it harder for the next woman.  One woman accepting being mistreated, not nurtured and cared for, not appreciated sets off a ripple effect for all women that come after her.  Due to him consequently not learning anything, now the next woman he meets or encounters is supposed to be acceptable of him treating and doing her any kind of way; for this is now what he is used to.  He wasn’t taught anything about the things that women desire, admire and love in previous relationships like:  passion, confidence, faithfulness, dependability, generosity, and kindness, exemplify the ideal dad, or simply making his woman laugh and feel comfortable (Illuminati).  He has now become this person that only wants to “knock you up or knock you out;” All because what he thinks is acceptable and this has now become his norm.  But this message on today is to give you your voice back!  Just tell them him in your Kevin Hart voice, “you gone learn today!!”  Instead of settling and being a victim to nonsense, know that as a child of God that you are a blessing!  As a woman you are a blessing!  And your potential standing-up, for how a woman should be treated, could create a possible opportunity for another woman to be blessed through your failures.  Instead of her enduring continued unwanted pains in an unnecessary burden.  So ladies, “Don’t Make it Hard for the Next Woman!!”    

But one last thing I want to point out to you ladies is that even though the man is the head, you are still a “tone-setter!”  Notice that I did not say “trendsetter,”  that term has already went to the head of way to many women that can’t even maintain what truly matters in life, for trying to keep up with a lifestyle they honestly can’t maintain.  For all my old-folk reading this blog, my mom use to always tell me, “Son…you can’t live a champagne life making Kool-Aide money (holler if you hear me)!” 

So ladies, if you will indulge the term of being a “tone-setter” for just a moment, please allow me to elaborate, as this will transition us back to our overall topic of, “Ladies, Don’t Make it Hard for the Next Woman!” To all the women that are “tone-setters” and regardless of the situation you have decreed not to stand for mediocre because you have a standard about who you are willing to accept in your life; this part of the message is for you.  God never said that it would be easy!  He never said that all your good-doing, all your fasting’s, and all your praying wouldn’t land you some potential bombs.  But in order for you to stay true to yourself, the stature that you have put in place, this means not accepting defeat.  Take it as a grain of salt, learn from it.  But most of all make sure that it’s a learning process for everyone involved.  You have to know that you not accepting defeat or the altering of your character is where your blessings is gone to come from.  Stay grounded!!  God did promise us one thing in the end, that we’d be victorious.  So keep your head up, standards up, and remember to help out the person that’s potentially coming behind you.

In closing, I’d just like to point out one more thing.  When you’ve accepted Christ into your life, you accepted new standards for everything.  Jesus loved and still loves everyone more than what we could even imagine.  So ladies if you’re considering your next man.  Consider these couple of things for me: (1) Jesus gave us a perfect example of what to strive to be.  Therefore, if he isn’t trying to be Christ-like, he’s not for you anyway; (2) Christ gave His life so that we may live, so that we may enjoy the treasures of life while here on earth.  If he’s not willing to go over and beyond for you, then he’s not for you anyway (however, keep in mind that you need to be worth going over and beyond for); (3) the bible tells us that we will live like Kings and Queens in Mansions in heaven.  If you don’t feel like you the Queen of your mansion (no matter if it’s a apartment, studio, or starter-home) or he isn’t trying to put you in a house that you-all can call home, he’s not for you anyway; and (4) when Christ died on the cross.  He gave the ultimate sacrifice so that you can be all that you are right now.  He loved us through His living and even more through His death.  Ladies, if that brother doesn’t have no decent insurance to help you out when he passes away to make sure your okay and good on some of the promises that that joker made you while he was living, he’s not the one for you (Just a little humor there at the end).

References:

Delistraty, Cody. "9 Ways Most People Ruin Their Own Relationships". Thought Catalog. N.p., 2013. Web. 26 July 2016.

Illuminati, Chris. "The 10 Most Important Qualities Women Look For In A Guy". AskMen. N.p., 2016. Web. 26 July 2016.

"K. Michelle – Can't Raise A Man". Genius. N.p., 2016. Web. 26 July 2016.

"The Top 20 Traits Women Want In A Man". MSN. N.p., 2015. Web. 26 July 2016.